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Still in the Trenches (Day 4)

2010 July 29

There’s been progress on the binky front. Lilly does not ask for the binky at all unless she is trying to sleep. And she is sleeping through the night without fits of frustration and whimpering. That’s all good news.

The hardest adjustment is, as I expected, going to sleep with her mutilated binky. But even that is improving. Rather than tantrums and binky-launchings, Lilly now seems to be trying to talk her way through the problem.

With each request for the binky, she inspects the binky, sees the hole and confidently says, “Baby close it.” She pinches it for a few seconds, then calmly says, “Mommy close it.” I tell her I can’t. She studies it some more and says, “I don’t like it.” I tell her I know. Then she requests a different color binky and the process repeats.

Days 3 and 4 were a bit tough. Lilly’s runny nose evolved into a full-blown cold with fever. This might actually be a good thing since she can only breathe through her mouth and thus can’t keep a binky in her mouth long anyway. But it also means she is craving all her comfort items.

Naps and bedtimes, which are the only times binky is a point of contention anymore, have gone like this:

First there’s the procrastination. As bedtime or naptime approachs, she wants milk, juice, snack, a book, a wagon ride, etc. When I finally carry her upstairs, she’s crying and begging to go to “mommy’s bed” instead. For better or worse, I have indulged this request a bit. I don’t let her sleep there, but we’ll read books and just wind things down in my bed before moving to her room. This seems to be helping, but I’ll probably regret it in time.

Fully embracing the nickname she has earned among our friends, the Zen Master kicked off her counter-offensive with her Day 3 Nap. Tantrums are just not her style. Instead, she tried reverse psychology.  After the ritual requests to close it and fix it, and the declaration that she doesn’t like her binkies, Lilly let me lay her in the crib with no major objections. Then, as I was about to walk out, calmly placed both binkies in her mouth. You give me half a binky, I’ll take two, thank you very much!

Bedtime on Day 3 was business as usual. Books, blanket, two lambs, two binkies.

Day 4 all hell broke loose. Again. But I think her fever was more to blame than binky withdrawal, although it certainly didn’t help. At naptime she was very upset. That fever kind of cry when even your skin hurts and you just want to feel better. I felt like Mommy Dearest to deny her a soothing binky in this state, but I did.  Once again she took the mutilated binky and cried, “I don’t like it. I don’t like it.” I gave her some ibuprofen (to bring down the fever, not to drug her) and put on some Coldplay to distract her and left. She cried for a few more minutes then went to sleep.

That night the fever was even higher and she’d been a trouper at a family party where she had to tolerate numerous “strangers” tickling her, talking to her and otherwise getting chummy and she held it together wonderfully most of the time. So when she just lost it and looked awful with feverish fatigue and crankiness, we could not deny her anything — except a whole binky. I let her fall asleep on me, in my bed, with two binkies. I’m an Evil Binky Torturer, but I’m still a mom for christ’s sake.

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Next Up: Breakthrough! (Day 5)

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