Naptime, Me Time

Praise the lord . . . or whatever spirit, god or power intervenes when an exhausted mother begs, “please, PLEASE, do not let this be the end of two naps a day!” According to the Bible — my bible, that is, Dr. Marc Weissbluth’s Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child — Lilly is just about at the age where she should be dropping her morning nap. That would leave her (and me) just one nap in the afternoon. I have to tell you, as a SAHM and a friend to many SAHMs, the thought of this strikes terror into the soul of SAHMs. Do you know how hard it is to get everything you need and want to do done in two naptimes? It’s really freaking hard.

Now, you may be sitting there reading this, thinking, “look, Mushbrain, I’m not a SAHM, but I work for a living. You know, the paid kind of work. Full-Time. All I get is before 8am and after 6pm to get my stuff done. So boohoo, you’re losing one hour of your day at home to get things done.” And to you, my skeptical reader, I have this to say. First, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to read my blog! Second, and I say this with the utmost respect, if you haven’t done it, you have no clue. And if you have done it and you’re still thinking that, you forget what it is like.

Being a SAHM is full-time, all-the-time. So, before 8am and after 6pm are no more my time than 8am to 6pm. I am always at the beck and call of my baby. So, only those precious hours when baby is sleeping are my time. And that time goes quickly and can end very abruptly. Imagine if during your time, maybe getting ready for work tomorrow morning, the UPS guy comes and rings the bell. To you, this may be a slight disruption to your morning routine. To me, and other SAHMs, this is not a disruption. It is a call to action. THIS IS NOT A DRILL! DROP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND REPORT TO DUTY IMMEDIATELY! Because, if by some miracle the doorbell didn’t wake your sleeping baby, then the dog barking as if a foreign army has just brought war to your doorstop and only high-pitched barking can stop them, has. And I don’t mean report to duty at 0800 hours, or when you’re ready, or after you’ve had your coffee. I mean now. RIGHT NOW. With shampoo in your hair, or with just one leg shaven, or perhaps after your coffee but (gulp) before your morning trip to the bathroom. And you are not only reporting for mommy duty, i.e. calming the screaming baby, but there’s still that UPS guy at the door wondering why you couldn’t at least get yourself out of your robe to answer the door when all you do is stay at home all day anyway.

And unlike those mornings when I was a practicing attorney and I would wake up late or something disrupted my morning routine and I had to rush into the office, it’s not a matter of just taking one quick call, or rushing to one quick meeting, or making one quick court appearance and then taking a moment to pull myself together. There’s no one quick anything with a baby. And no coffee breaks, lunch breaks or personal time, for that matter. There’s naptime. Precious, volatile naptime.

So when Lilly decided the last two days, that afternoon naps are for suckers, my heart nearly stopped. No afternoon nap? But morning nap is just for showering, eating and laundry (and then maybe a quick stop on email and facebook). Afternoon nap is everything else. Mushbrain. Phone calls. Dinner prep. Making grocery lists. Everything. Not to be too overly dramatic, but without my afternoon naptime, I have NO time! (Yes, there are evenings, but again, I don’t clock out at 6pm. Or ever. I make dinner and give baths and read books and eat dinner and only then — after every business is closed and I am thoroughly pooped — do I have time for me while I’m on call for teething pain, nightmares, leaking diapers, etc.)

So today, I was prepared for the first day of my new, even more time-restricted life. As 3 o’clock rolled around, I tried to forget the glory days when I would bring Lilly upstairs and she would gladly succumb to sleep, and instead prepared for afternoon errands with baby in tow. Then, as if a gift from some sympathetic SAHM in the sky, Lilly started rubbing her eyes. Could it be? Afraid that I might wait one moment too long and she would catch a second wind, I immediately picked her up, popped a binkie in her mouth and brought her upstairs for some nice, calm book-reading. One Stinky Face and Barnyard Dance later, my prayers were answered. Lilly easily went down for one more nap. One more day. One more hour of me time. God help the UPS man if he comes to my door today.

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