The Terror-Filled Twos
This is Lilly’s third Christmas season. The first one when she has any clue what is going on. We’ve all been very excited about it. Elliott and I have been talking about Santa Claus, Christmas lights and Rudolph for weeks. And Lilly fell for it all hook, line and sinker. Sure, there’s the little hiccup that she seems to think that Christmas is a place (“We going to Christmas, Mommy?”), but she’s been excited and that’s what’s important.
Another difference this year is that Lilly is in school, where she is also learning about every holiday that passes and celebrating each for nearly a month. But since she goes to a Jewish Temple for school, December is all about Hanukkah. We knew this going in and we have no objections to her learning all about other faiths — especially since we don’t particularly have one. (Well, at least not an institutionally-defined one.) So we entered December ready to embrace the Festival of Lights as we also prepared for Christmas.
By Day 3 of Hanukkah, Lilly was sold. Fun songs, Mommy coming to school for a party, a craft with glitter and the dreidels….oh, the dreidels! What’s not to love about Hanukkah? And to top it off, Friday was Lilly’s day to take home “the Shabbat basket” from school. This is a little basket that circulates through the class with little activities that aim to make Shabbat dinner fun and exciting for kids. Included in the basket: a book called Dinosaur on Shabbat and a stuffed T Rex. Um, have I mentioned my daughter’s obsession with dinosaurs? Do you remember me crafting a Pteranodon from scratch for a Halloween costume? So when we saw the T Rex alongside Lilly’s favorite new food — challah — in this basket, and Lilly running into the house, dreidel in hand, singing “dreidel, dreidel dreidel, I made it out of clay….”, Elliott and I had the same thought: we better start selling this girl on Christmas.
Since we’re not Jewish and don’t actually observe Shabbat, we went out for sushi on Friday night with Lilly. Thinking we would make it a special treat for her, we decided to sit at a hibachi table for a change. Long story short: we got our food to go as Lilly clung to Elliott, screaming and crying, “I want to go home!” This has nothing to do with the holidays, but it was the kick-off to Lilly’s week of Christmas terrors.
Next up, the classic children’s favorite: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Preparing for its airing, I’ve been singing the famous Rudolph song for a week and it was going well. Lilly was answering her play-phone: “Hi Rudolph! Oh, your nose is so bright!” She was ready.
We got bath done early and told her we’d have a special night when she could stay up late and watch Rudolph. I personally had never realized how terrible that show is — does anyone else think Hermy the Elf uses the word “dentist” as a euphemism for “homosexual”? Anyway, Lilly was enjoying it. Until. . . .
“Off, Mommy! Off, Mommy! Too Scary!“
Now I had a vague recollection that the Abominable Snow Monster ended up being nice, so I tried to comfort her while the scene continued. When the monster didn’t warm up to Rudolph right away I fast-forwarded and got back to Rudolph. But the damage was done. Lilly watched the rest of Rudolph the same way I watch War of the Worlds, waiting for the next round of terror to begin.
Speaking of which, the next night we went out for a casual Kids Eat Free dinner at a nearby deli. It was lovely. Lilly was in a great mood and was eating really well. Then without warning the door just behind our table was flung open and in walked the jolly old man himself, “Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!”
“Look, Lilly, it’s Santa!”
What happened next was heart-breaking. Lilly’s eyes just about popped out of her head. She began to visibly shake. Her lipped curled under and the tears poured — and I mean poured — out of her eyes. Santa and I exchanged looks. His said: “I can fix this.” Mine said: “Move on, jolly man.” He ignored mine and approached Lilly. At this point she went into complete panic mode, reaching across the table to me, kicking her legs to try to escape her booster and begging me to take her home. With some urging from his elves, Santa finally got the message and moved on to another table of kids while I held Lilly trying to calm her down. Noticing he was gone she quickly relaxed and said, “Oh he’s gone.” I gently pointed out that he was talking to some other kids and the panic started anew. Again, we packed up our dinner and left.
So now we’re in damage control mode. No more new, potentially terrifying, Christmas traditions. Elf on the Shelf, you’re going to have to wait until next year. Grinch, make yourself comfortable on Mt. Crumpit. You’re not coming down this year.
This Christmas is strictly joyful from this point forward. It’s about lights, family, presents, cheer, and a baby’s birthday. Lilly loves babies and birthdays. Then, hopefully, Lilly will come around. And if not, well, we’ll always have Hanukkah.
The The Terror-Filled Twos by MushBrain, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. Terms and conditions beyond the scope of this license may be available at mushbrain.net.
Hilarious! And it explains why Saturday night when I sang Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer she wanted to hear it again and again and again.
She’s less fond of that song now. I think it brings back bad memories…Poor little munchkin.
Oh, poor Lilly – and poor Christa! Scary, scary – I STILL remember things that scared me, around her age….!
Silver and gold, silver and gold!